Sexual Intimacy

A couple are dating and discussing if they should just stay friends or could this person be my eternal companion? There is more flexibility with being friends and no actual commitment, but in marriage there is selflessness, love, protection, and more. They wonder what similarities they have and find out their pretty opposite, but opposites can attract right?

                My husband and I are opposites, but we love each other and know the importance of our covenants and have an intimate connection. We know to set boundaries with others and make sure we are both aware of outside friendships and relationships with family. We put God first and then each other. We have seen firsthand the challenges in past marriages where affairs and pornography have affected not only the previous spouses, but us individually.

                What are the challenges, benefits, and opportunity for sexual intimacy in marriage? Does physical intimacy really matter? Yes, physical intimacy really matters in marriage. It not only is an arousal and response cycle, but a place where a woman and man can be one and become more like God. Some of the challenges is how a man and woman’s body parts differ. A male can get aroused much more rapidly which would be the climax for him. Where a woman’s body needs to go through arousal, and it can take her longer. A benefit is the connection between them where they feel safe, warm, and close. The man needs intimacy to feel safe, warm, and close, while the woman needs to feel the same to have intimacy. We were created in the image of God to need each other.

                During marriage, we need to be very careful about the relationships we develop. Before marriage it should be discussed about what friends to have, such as friends to the marriage. If any problems arise, we should turn to our spouse and not to a friend, family, or co-worker. This can be dangerous where infidelity can occur. We see that the friend or co-worker has more similar interests and understands us more which can lead to flirtation, and possibly leaving or spouse and family. About 73% of affairs happen in the workplace where one leaned on a co-worker and felt safe, warm, and close to them. Not connecting with the right person can lead to spending unnecessary time with them and breaking our covenants. When we make a covenant with God they are still there even if our partner breaks them.

                We need to remember the reasons and purposes of sexual intimacy. This is a beautiful communication with Heavenly Father. Not only did he create us in his own image, but just as Adam and Eve we are also to procreate. We need to be sensitive to each other especially when this is the first time and avoid fornication at all costs! Our bodies belong to our spouse and no one else. We are to cleave unto our spouse in marriage and leave our dad and mom. Intimacy is a little bit about us but a way to be selfless and communicate love to our spouse. We set aside the natural man with needs and wants.

                Unfortunately, sexual intimacy can get twisted into something dirty which can lead to pornography. Pornography is any medium used to create arousal and feeds the natural man. This topic is sensitive to those who have been affected in one way or another by it.

                As we go through marriage, we need to always stay true to the covenants we make with God and to our spouse. Don’t let the outside world interfere with your marriage.