The Family Under Stress

How would your family react in a stressful or crisis? Would you grow stronger as a family unit or would you go your separate ways and try to cope? One great example I have had the experience of watching was of a family we are friends with when we lived in Utah. They have a son about 2 months younger than my youngest son (age 7.5). Their son was diagnosed at an early age with Leukemia (don’t recall what kind). Their family was in and out of the hospital a lot but those who know them have been blessed greatly. Their son did pass away and I went to the viewing. It was one of the hardest things I did at the time, especially imaging if that was my son. I still know this family and they are powerful examples to me from watching them stay unified.

                My family has also gone through a stressful situation. Not only did my ex-husband and I divorce over 2 years ago, but each of my boys has a disability that we are now trying to get the proper testing for. When my older two were younger, I knew they had learning disabilities and had some anxiety, but their dad wasn’t supportive to encourage testing. Years later (they are now 15, 13.5, and 7.5) we are discovering they have anxiety, ADHD, and possible Autism. Between myself, their dad, stepmom, and stepdad, we are trying to learn the best ways to help them. However, my boys are blessed to have 2 sets of parents care about them and work together to help them even with basic life skills. We are taking our differences and putting them into strengths.

                I was talking with my boss at work about our discussion in class concerning stress. I have a habit of stressing even about the little things in life. I did not realize that our bodies need stress to have the proper balance. Without stress, our body would lack strength and would be unable to rebuild itself. As a mom, student, and employee, I have noticed that I usually thrive under stress and multi-tasking compared to have too much free time. As a mom, I need to allow my kids to do hard things, so they can learn more, and teach them how to turn stress into a positive situation.

                I can choose how my stress affects not only myself but others around me. Our brain mentally takes on our thoughts and we can turn our thoughts including depression for the better to find ways to be filled with joy. Learn to take the opportunities we are given to cope and how our kids by example and sharing our thoughts out loud. Kids are like sponges and soak up information and what you must teach them.

                One thing I am learning in therapy currently is how to retain my cognitive thinking to take different situations and trauma experienced and use it to help me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I am discovering how to think more wisely and instead of reacting to a situation, I stop, pause, and think before doing anything. I am teaching my kids how to do the same.

                One chart I would highly suggest utilizing is: 10 ways we twist our thinking and how to replace them. This can help us go from negative thoughts, to happy positive thoughts that are not only truth but from God. Write down what you are thinking and know that distorted thoughts are not true. Reference D&C 93 (one verse is “The glory of God is intelligence). Don’t assume, stop, think, and ask yourself where is this coming from?