Parents

I really appreciate all my parents did and continue to do for me even now being a mom of 4 boys. As I go through each stage with my boys, I now have a greater insight into raising kids. I know I am far from being a perfect mom, but I am trying. My parents are wonderful examples to me of being Christ-like in raising my brothers and myself. As we have discussed this week with class, and talking with my mom, we should allow our kids to use their agency. When we use our free agency, we can learn and progress. We allow our kids to learn through trial they may have by supporting and loving them along the way.

                My parents would include us children in decision making including consequences we when didn’t use our agency wisely. The only time they would step in more is for safety reasons. In class we went over Popkin’s Purposes of Parenting which are: adversary, world, safety (from harm and injury), healthy habits, and preparing. We need to teach our kids how to survive and thrive. They need to learn basic life skills which will not only help teach them responsibility but can lift their self-esteem and give them courage. I have learned that children are like sponges. Not only do they soak up information, but your actions sometimes can be louder than your words. I see this in my 7-year-old. He will copy what his older brothers do and have also seen this in my older two from what my husband and I do.

                One tool I have been working on with my boys this week is to change my tone to softer spoken (because yelling gets nowhere), but showing respect by looking at eye level, and validating their feelings. Instead of putting my kids in (time out) which doesn’t work, when they need a break we do “quiet time” in their rooms. I don’t like using the word punishment, but rather consequence whether it is good or bad.

                Children need positive feedback for being honest, friendly, good, serving, and positive reinforcement overall. We need to encourage more in others for being good people. We tend to just give compliments with how a child looks with appearance, good grades, and academics). If we tell a child they are smart when they get a good grade, but then the next time they don’t, they aren’t going to feel great about themselves.

                Need to start with an end in mind of where we want to be with our kids and what we want to teach them. We need to plan and be present at home together (the virus is definitely making that happen), need to be able to provide for our family and teach our kids how to budget, protect our children but still allowing them to use their free agency, and nurture. We need to encourage our kids to live and grow.

                My parents were wonderful examples of hard work and living the gospel. My dad is a co-owner of a wedding supply business and my mom used to own a balloon business. As children we were taught to work together as a family with housework, yardwork, our schoolwork, and to serve. With my children, we have them do daily chores, do their best on their homework, and we find ways we can serve as well as doing Come Follow Me. Once the Temples are open again, we will take them to do service there. Heavenly Father is the ultimate example of being a parent, and Jesus Christ suffered and through the Atonement we can return to our Heavenly parents again. We are on this earth to learn, endure, and help each other along the way.