Posts

Divorce, Re-Marriage, & Aging Families

I was married for 15 years and then we got divorced. I was a single mom for about a year, and then got re-married. Through my second marriage, I am learning to recognize how I need to change in order to best commit to our covenant marriage. We need to constantly discuss and communicate which is huge in any relationship. I am taking the knowledge from my last marriage and trying to improve on being a better wife and mom. It takes constant hard work to have a marriage including covenant marriage work. A covenant marriage is a way to add stability and satisfaction to marital relationships. We need to constantly include God in our lives, he knows us the best.                 There are some difficult decisions made when a couple is getting divorced such as the division of property and who will get custody of kids (if they are kids in the marriage). In my situation, we split down the middle and what I didn’t take I got in monetary value. As for our kids, we have half custody which gets c
Post a Comment
Read more

Parents

I really appreciate all my parents did and continue to do for me even now being a mom of 4 boys. As I go through each stage with my boys, I now have a greater insight into raising kids. I know I am far from being a perfect mom, but I am trying. My parents are wonderful examples to me of being Christ-like in raising my brothers and myself. As we have discussed this week with class, and talking with my mom, we should allow our kids to use their agency. When we use our free agency, we can learn and progress. We allow our kids to learn through trial they may have by supporting and loving them along the way.                 My parents would include us children in decision making including consequences we when didn’t use our agency wisely. The only time they would step in more is for safety reasons. In class we went over Popkin’s Purposes of Parenting which are: adversary, world, safety (from harm and injury), healthy habits, and preparing. We need to teach our kids how to survive and th
Post a Comment
Read more

Fathers and Finances

I will admit it right now I am a daddy’s girl. Watching his example of being a provider and treating my mom with respect and love, I knew that is what I wanted in a husband and father of my children. Throughout my first marriage, the roles were reversed. I was the one working between part and full time to put my ex husband through school. I didn’t see the same in my ex that I saw in my dad. Now, in my current marriage my husband has not only stepped up to be a father figure but helps to provide for our family. During our class discussion, we talked about how the roles of fathers are being reversed. Where the wife will go out and provide and the husband will stay home. My husband was a stay at home dad in his first marriage, and it worked perfectly for them. However, in the beginning the father would provide while the mother would teach her children at home and nurture them. There was a story read about an author who was raised in a family of 13. She and the other girls would help
Post a Comment
Read more

COMMUNICATION & MUTUAL PROBLEM SOLVING

There are several ways to communicate with people around us whether it is verbal, non-verbal, silent-treatment, actions, and more. In what ways do you communicate with your family and friends, and is it done effectively? When you are in different situations do you talk about how you feel, or do you give the silent treatment and keep everything bottled up? Communication is one category in my life I have been working to improve on. Ever since I was younger, it hasn’t been one of my strengths. Throughout my 1 st marriage we really lacked in communicating which was difficult since he would bottle things up inside. Now being in my 2 nd marriage we communicate every day, and if there is an issue, we talk about it. One thing I have learned in two marriages is how my husband can hurt me more than anyone else. I have seen this with my ex. In any type of relationship, communication is the key and very critical. Without it, we would all have to try and read each other’s minds, and just as
Post a Comment
Read more

The Family Under Stress

How would your family react in a stressful or crisis? Would you grow stronger as a family unit or would you go your separate ways and try to cope? One great example I have had the experience of watching was of a family we are friends with when we lived in Utah. They have a son about 2 months younger than my youngest son (age 7.5). Their son was diagnosed at an early age with Leukemia (don’t recall what kind). Their family was in and out of the hospital a lot but those who know them have been blessed greatly. Their son did pass away and I went to the viewing. It was one of the hardest things I did at the time, especially imaging if that was my son. I still know this family and they are powerful examples to me from watching them stay unified.                 My family has also gone through a stressful situation. Not only did my ex-husband and I divorce over 2 years ago, but each of my boys has a disability that we are now trying to get the proper testing for. When my older two were y
Post a Comment
Read more

Sexual Intimacy

A couple are dating and discussing if they should just stay friends or could this person be my eternal companion? There is more flexibility with being friends and no actual commitment, but in marriage there is selflessness, love, protection, and more. They wonder what similarities they have and find out their pretty opposite, but opposites can attract right?                 My husband and I are opposites, but we love each other and know the importance of our covenants and have an intimate connection. We know to set boundaries with others and make sure we are both aware of outside friendships and relationships with family. We put God first and then each other. We have seen firsthand the challenges in past marriages where affairs and pornography have affected not only the previous spouses, but us individually.                 What are the challenges, benefits, and opportunity for sexual intimacy in marriage? Does physical intimacy really matter? Yes, physical intimacy really matter
Post a Comment
Read more

Transitions to Marriage

It has happened…he has asked her to marry him and they celebrate just the two of them. I remember both times I was proposed to. The first time was at the Temple (I wanted to be proposed to at a Temple) and my roommate was there taking a photo of him proposing. My reaction? Are you serious!? Then the second time I was proposed to (by my 2 nd husband), I had come home from the gym, he was in pajamas, but the table was set up with dinner, flowers, and a paper. He would have got down on one knee, but I was hugging him while reading the paper he typed (of songs we had listened to which was his way of proposing). It was just the two of us, and of course I said yes!                                 Last week we went over the different steps of dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. When couples are courting, this could be a make or break point in their relationship. This is an opportunity to see each other in all different seasons as mentioned in an earlier blog. This will help us d
Post a Comment
Read more