My Blended Life

I really appreciate all my parents did and continue to do for me even now being a mom of 4 boys. As I go through each stage with my boys, I now have a greater insight into raising kids. I know I am far from being a perfect mom, but I am trying. My parents are wonderful examples to me of being Christ-like in raising my brothers and myself. As we have discussed this week with class, and talking with my mom, we should allow our kids to use their agency. When we use our free agency, we can learn and progress. We allow our kids to learn through trial they may have by supporting and loving them along the way.                 My parents would include us children in decision making including consequences we when didn’t use our agency wisely. The only time they would step in more is for safety reasons. In class we went over Popkin’s Purposes of Parenting which are: adversary, world, safety (from harm and injury), heal...

I will admit it right now I am a daddy’s girl. Watching his example of being a provider and treating my mom with respect and love, I knew that is what I wanted in a husband and father of my children. Throughout my first marriage, the roles were reversed. I was the one working between part and full time to put my ex husband through school. I didn’t see the same in my ex that I saw in my dad. Now, in my current marriage my husband has not only stepped up to be a father figure but helps to provide for our family. During our class discussion, we talked about how the roles of fathers are being reversed. Where the wife will go out and provide and the husband will stay home. My husband was a stay at home dad in his first marriage, and it worked perfectly for them. However, in the beginning the father would provide while the mother would teach her children at home and nurture them. There was a story read about an author who was raised in a family of 13. She and the other girls would help ...

There are several ways to communicate with people around us whether it is verbal, non-verbal, silent-treatment, actions, and more. In what ways do you communicate with your family and friends, and is it done effectively? When you are in different situations do you talk about how you feel, or do you give the silent treatment and keep everything bottled up? Communication is one category in my life I have been working to improve on. Ever since I was younger, it hasn’t been one of my strengths. Throughout my 1 st marriage we really lacked in communicating which was difficult since he would bottle things up inside. Now being in my 2 nd marriage we communicate every day, and if there is an issue, we talk about it. One thing I have learned in two marriages is how my husband can hurt me more than anyone else. I have seen this with my ex. In any type of relationship, communication is the key and very critical. Without it, we would all have to try and read each other’s minds, and just as...

How would your family react in a stressful or crisis? Would you grow stronger as a family unit or would you go your separate ways and try to cope? One great example I have had the experience of watching was of a family we are friends with when we lived in Utah. They have a son about 2 months younger than my youngest son (age 7.5). Their son was diagnosed at an early age with Leukemia (don’t recall what kind). Their family was in and out of the hospital a lot but those who know them have been blessed greatly. Their son did pass away and I went to the viewing. It was one of the hardest things I did at the time, especially imaging if that was my son. I still know this family and they are powerful examples to me from watching them stay unified.                 My family has also gone through a stressful situation. Not only did my ex-husband and I divorce over 2 years ago, but each of my boys has a disability that...

A couple are dating and discussing if they should just stay friends or could this person be my eternal companion? There is more flexibility with being friends and no actual commitment, but in marriage there is selflessness, love, protection, and more. They wonder what similarities they have and find out their pretty opposite, but opposites can attract right?                 My husband and I are opposites, but we love each other and know the importance of our covenants and have an intimate connection. We know to set boundaries with others and make sure we are both aware of outside friendships and relationships with family. We put God first and then each other. We have seen firsthand the challenges in past marriages where affairs and pornography have affected not only the previous spouses, but us individually.                 What are ...

It has happened…he has asked her to marry him and they celebrate just the two of them. I remember both times I was proposed to. The first time was at the Temple (I wanted to be proposed to at a Temple) and my roommate was there taking a photo of him proposing. My reaction? Are you serious!? Then the second time I was proposed to (by my 2 nd husband), I had come home from the gym, he was in pajamas, but the table was set up with dinner, flowers, and a paper. He would have got down on one knee, but I was hugging him while reading the paper he typed (of songs we had listened to which was his way of proposing). It was just the two of us, and of course I said yes!                                 Last week we went over the different steps of dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. When couples are courting, this could be a make or brea...

Should people date before they get married, or co-habit to see if they are compatible? If they date, how long before they get engaged and marry? If they choose to co-habit will they ever marry? I personally feel that people should date. From life experience, dating for at least a couple of months will help you see how the other person is in different “seasons”. Ask yourself how are they with their family and yours, with decisions, are they able to plan and be financially stable? In marriage, two people are coming together bringing in their different resources such as giving their full attention when needed, being able to plan activities and help make financial and other decisions. I was married 15 years and in the length of the marriage, we weren’t communicating well, planning our lives well, or making big decisions together well. We didn’t date long before marriage and were only engaged for a couple of months. Since then, I got divorced and then re-married. My husband and I dated fo...

The first thing that comes to mind when I see Gender and Family Life, is The Proclamation to the Family. In the Proclamation to the Family a husband is to lead his family in love and righteous, and to provide and protect. A mother is to nurture their children and usually stay at home. In some families, this is not always the situation.                 As mentioned in the previous paragraph, men are to provide, preside, and protect. However, the world and Satan see this as you need to make more money to have everything you want to be happy. “You can have anything in this world if have money.” We need to make sure our families are provided for but need to make sure we know the difference between need and want. Men are also to preside over their families. If they are always out working how can they preside? We need to help them focus on the big perspective. Protecting our families especially now in these last da...

Here is a question to ask yourself, do you think the way you were raised and the traditions you have affected or influenced you while growing up? When we look at the people around us do, we pre-judge them with how they act and how they do things in their families?                 I will admit, I have pre-judged people before, and I realize I shouldn’t have. At first impression, I look at how others dress and the way they act. We all come from different social classes whether we were raised in a low class, middle class, or higher class. When parents give their kids what they want there is not only a lack of hard work but a lack of appreciation. True, we all come from different social classes, but that could change in their future. As I did my study, I was watching a couple of videos on different social classes. The first video was about a mom (no dad was in the video) was of a mom named Tammy who grew up poor ...

Understanding Family Dynamics & Theories                 Imagine yourself in a circular system and remember who you are and what you are doing affects you and either another family member or the whole family. Sometimes I have felt this way and others might have as well. Your son manifests negative attention because his parents become closer together to try and help you or your family member must set boundaries in order to take care of himself and his family before others. I have personally felt this way for about a month or more. I have discovered that not only do I need to focus on myself, but I need to set boundaries otherwise I will be stuck in what is called a Circular causality.                 This week we have studied different types of theories including the Family Systems Theory. We learn that there are different types...

Around the world, we can find a variety of marriages and families. Whether the married couple is man/woman, man/man, woman/woman. One other type is co-habit living. As for families we see husband and wife who have their own children, foster, adopt, and stepfamilies. There have been studies, research, data collection, and interviews done around the world within the controversy of how marriage and family are or should be.  One example of this was in 2005, the APA (American Psychological Association) issued an official brief on lesbian and gay parenting. Social science research came out in 2012 with the studies, research, and interviews they did. However, the research had some flaws. There was a gay couple who went to court after getting married in one state where it was legal, but then wanted the state they lived in (California) to recognize their marriage and they were wanting to adopt. The brief done was presented that "Not a single study has found children of lesbian or gay ...

Welcome to my new blog called "My Blended Life". Here I will be able to share about our new blended family established 4-13-19. I will be sharing insights from a Family Relations class I am currently taking as well as our journey as a family.